So today (okay truly it was yesterday, but does it matter?), I finished reading the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Why did I read it? Cause I felt like it was required reading for those of us in "post-evangelicalism." And in a way it is. It's funny talking to people who have strong ideologies (about whatever), and instead of normal small talk about what do you like to do, people tend to ask "have you read this book, or what do you think of this author." We really do relate to each other by a shared "discourse" which has shaped us and our understanding of reality. This isn't just Christians (or emmergent type people) who do this but lots of other people too. I've met people in Southampton, who we keep asking each other if we've read something, or seen a particular thoughtful film or whatever, and finally find something of common ground... it's mad how good it feels when you find someone likes the same text that you do.... it binds you together in a unique way.... i don't know what it is.
Blue Like Jazz was good. Not life changing, but it did make me think- not a paradigm shift- I feel that we're probably in similar paradigms, but none the less, I feel that the way he put things, was fresh and made me reflect. I guess the next book in the similar genre I need to read is Velvet Elvis, right? I dunno if I will, we'll have to see, even though I'm sure it's good, and am sure I agree with everything he says even before I've flipped open a page.
The hard part about reading these types of books and thinking these types of things about christianity, is that we feel we've found something that others don't have... and whenever you feel like that arrogance is hard to fight off. I struggle with feeling "enlightened" compared to other evangelicals, even though I know, that this isn't true and that there truly is "nothing new under the sun." I was just thinking the other day as I was talking with god and using all my social theory jargin, that God must be bemused by all of us who think we are having new ideas about faith, but truly just changing our vocabulary.... or maybe there really is something new about it.
A small example of this ..... I found myself praying the other day somthing like this "Lord you know how my habitus is messed up and has brought me to this place, cut me with your discourse and shape my understandings of reality in the way you'd want to" nothing's new about that, but that was naturally how my spirit wanted to state things, it's how they made sense to me.
I wish I could relate to other Christians, but I guess that's the catch. In truth, I wish other Christians could relate to me. So many are happy to just devote their lives to their worship services and after church coffee, seminars, cell groups, Christian Unions. The problem lies in that I used to be just like that and relate to that, but I got burnt out very early. I don't want to go back to that place (although sometimes I truly am tempted), but I'm also tempted to think other Christians should come to where I am, but I'm sure that wouldn't be a good thing either. I just keep needing to worry about God transforming me and pray that he would do the same for others I guess.
Again, I'm going to finish here, because it's half two in the morning, I'm a bit wired and am probably not making much sense...
Peace on you all.
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5 comments:
I know that burned out feeling on American fast food Christianity. The longer I was in the U.S. the harder it became to go to church and I would also wonder why everyone didn't feel as I did. Isn't that arrogance in itself in some ways though? Not that I thought I was completely wrong....
I've found in my seeking after God that, no matter how good the "new interpretation" is in principle, whatever separates me from the people of God, whatever causes me to be arrogant or uncompassionate, whatever makes me stop listening to others, is probably not worth it.
The more I go on in this spiritual quest, I find God's embrace of people wide enough to include even those who I've "left behind." And that comforts me a little bit.
Wow, great post and great comments! Mike and Benjamin, you've both encapsulated a lot of what I've felt over the past few years and some of the conclusions I've come to.
I guess I find it helpful to remember that we're all on different spiritual journeys - none of us have "arrived" - and it's hard to say whether one is "farther along" than another either - we're all different personalities with different experiences (haha, how postmodern is that...). I think the key is that we continue to challenge each other in small ways, and that we put ourselves in each other's shoes and try to relate to where they're coming from. That always helps me step back when I feel myself growing judgmental yet again.
Mike, you needn't apologize - no matter the hour. Your thoughts are always great to read.
I'm sitting here at nearly one in the morning, my toe throbing from the pain of having its nail removed, the vicadin is wearing off, oh, and because the wireless isn't working I'm sitting with my back against our front door in the hall noticing that we have quite the draft problem. All this to say that nothing good can come from this. I was going to post some thoughts of solidarity but that's already been done by just about everyone. I was going to challenge some of your thoughts but I'm in no state to pull that off and you're a doctor-to-be for crying out loud. I was going to encourage you to read Velvet Elvis...maybe I just did that. Well at least I accomplished something. Anyways bro. What I will say is that I love reading your blog more than most. Great thoughts linger in that noggin of yours and I'm glad you've found a place to vent at least a few of them (though I know you hold a ton of them back).
Hailey's asked me to bed twice now. I best be a good husband and say goodbye.
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